Wednesday 31 August 2016

How to be a Shit Housemate

 What do we want? Passive aggressive lists about people
When do want them? Now 

During my four years of uni, I lived with some pretty insufferable people. From the weird to the downright bloody nasty. So being the generous little princess I am, I thought I'd collate my experiences to provide the ultimate guide on how to be the worst housemate anyone could ask for!*

1. Label all your utensils with green tape and keep them separate from everyone elses. Being super possessive in such an obvious way is FAB.
2. Conversely, don't bring any cutlery, pots, or pans apart from one spoon and a butter knife.
3. If you decide to do this, make sure when you borrow/steal your housemates' pans to cook with, NEVER wash them. Wash your plate and spoon, but not their pans. 'Cause why should you?

4. Bake lovely things, keep them in full view of everyone and never EVER offer them around.
5. Refuse to chip in for toilet paper because "you don't use it"
6. Lie about not using toilet paper. Because that's just common sense, isn't it.
7. Eat your housemate's leftovers that they were saving, and do it as often as you possibly can. Double points if it's a nice meal they spent hours making.
8. When your housemates bake a cake and offer you a slice, keep going back for more and more until you polish off at least half.
9. Borrow a clutch bag from one of your housemates and leave it in the nightclub.
10. Make sure you NEVER take keys on a night out, and be sure to bang the door down at stupid o'clock in the morning.
11. Whilst on the topic of front doors, try and remember to leave the front door unlocked and wide open when you leave the house and no one is home. All about that risky living.
12. Refuse to pay bills, and if those pesky housemates of yours insist that you contribute, get various family members to threaten them.
13. Spill *insert saucey, stainey dish here* all over the wall and other surfaces and don't clean it up... Ever. I mean, what are housemates for?
14. Sit in the living room with headphones in so nobody can watch TV. It's your room now.
15. Never buy bin bags and proceed to balance rubbish on rubbish like unsanitary jenga for the forseeable future.

So there you have it. A sure fire way to make everyone within immediate proximity miserable and make no friends!

*I would hope this would be somewhat obvious, but please don't do this. Any of it. Ever.

Good luck, freshers.
And may the odds be ever in your favour.

Teri-May xx




  1. A while ago my brother had a lovely roommate... He'd do the whole "I made dinner, you do the dishes" but omfg the amount of mess he would leave! He'd leaved plates and everything in his room and I went in there to collect it all and there was a plate or broccoli just chilling, and my brother was like "we had broccoli two weeks ago....." I nearly threw up! Was disgusting! Em xx

    1. At least he made dinner haha!! Not sure I would have accepted dinner from some of these housemates... What is it with male students and leaving food around?!

  2. This post is amazing, thank you for sharing. I'm starting uni this year and I'll be sharing with two other girls so please keep your fingers crossed haha. Eating your housemate's left-overs is the worst, especially if they spent hours making it. I also can't believe that someone would claim not to use toilet paper, that's ridiculous. xx

    1. I hope I haven't scared you haha for the most part living with people is GREAT!! The toilet paper thing was just bizarre - we started keeping it in our cupboards so she couldn't use it and she soon admitted to it! Xx

  3. Safe to say I am NOT looking forward to moving into halls in 2 weeks time, can't be dealing with this crap. I can feel arguments already brewing D:

    Claire ❤| My Little Memoir

    1. It wasn't my intention to make you dread moving out! I promise you, you will have THE BEST time! At the time, this stuff is annoying, but now it's what me and my best friends look back on and laugh at! It's all part of the experience and there is so much more good than bad :-) I'm pretty jealous of you - have an amazing time xx

  4. HAHAHAHA! Oh my god this is so SO true, love the lying about toilet paper, LOVE the rubbish Jenga and LOVE the knocking on the door at 1am. Okay maybe not love. 4 years and I have to say I don't particularly miss university living, some people have odd ways! xx

  5. Bloody love this post! I can so relate, some people have no concept of living with others haha

  6. I left uni 5 years ago and am still haunted by some of the goings on there. Living in a shared flat afterwards wasn't quite as bad, but what is wrong with people?!
    The bin game and stealing pans and food was a big one for me.
    I always wonder if I was that bad to some housemates!

    Tina x

  7. I know my boyfriend would laugh at this, because his house mates have always been exactly like this! I'm going to pass this on x //

  8. Hahaha I love this so much! I can relate to 13 VERY well, and it's no wonder I've moved out from my Uni accommodation and back home! xx

    Lauren |

  9. Wait wait, what on earth is number 5....who the hell out there isn't using toilet paper?!

    Julia // The Sunday Mode


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